FUNNY JOKES & SHAYARI: December 2011

Thursday, 29 December 2011

Joke


Subah hote hi jab duniya abad hoti hai
ankh khulte hi apki yaad hoti hai khushiyo k phool ho apke
anchal me ye mere hothon pe pehli friyad hoti hai
(G¤O~O+D) (M¤O+R~N¤I+N~G) HAVE A NICE DAY

Joke


GF: PROMISE KARO KI HAMESHA MERI BAAT MANOGE. MUJHE KABHI TOUCH YA KISS NHI KAROGE.......
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BF: BEHAN TU GHAR JA........ TERE MUMMY PAPA CHINTA KAR RAHE HONGE............:D..........?..........:)

Joke


 ik kudi ne slim jahe munde nu msg kita-chehra tera khaas nhi,
haddiyan ch tere maas nhi,
pyaar tenu swaah karan,,
teri tan jeun di v aas nhi..

Munde da reaply.....msg....
maneya k chehra mera kahas nhi
hadiya ch mere maas nai
tu sanu ki pyar krengi saaliye
teri saade kol khadan d v okaaat nai

Joke


Boy: I Love A Girl !
Girl: Oh Who Is She?
Boy: She Looks A Bit Like You .. ;)
Girl: Awwww Is It Me? ?
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Boy: No Its Your Sister :p

Joke

Student: Mam why Gandhi has no hair on his head?

Teacher: Because he talks only truth.

Student : Now i understand why girls have long hair... :)

Joke

Caller : Jnab mere ghar Agg lagi
a,jaldi aao
Fireman - tusi pani pa k bujha k
dekho
Caller : Dekhia c nai buji
fireman - fer asi kahra salea fukan mar k bhjauni a.

Joke

PATNI-Tumhari Himmat Kaise Hui Pados Wali Ke Sath Picture Dekhne Ki?
PATI-Pagli,Aajkal Biwi Bachon Ke Sath Dekhne Layak Film Banti Hi Kaha Hai

Joke

Ek Ameer ladki ko exam me Gareeb Parivar par Essay likhne ko kaha gaya.
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ESSAY:
'
1 gareeb parivar tha.
... Pita gareeb
ma gareeb,
bache gareeb.
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Ghar me 4 naukar the wo b gareeb
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Car b tuti hui scorpio thi.
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Bacho k paas purane N95 mobile the.
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Ghar me keval 4 second hand AC the.
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sab week me 2 baar chicken kha pate the
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or outing pe mahine me ek baar hi ja pate the
Sara parivar badi muskil se aish kar raha tha. :

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Joke


Gf aur bf dono Market me Gaye
Ek larkay ne hello kia?:]
Bf: k0n tha wo???
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Girl: tum dimagh mat kharab kro, abi usse b btana hai tum k0n ho!!!

Best Think

"AJEEB HAI NA"

Rs.20 Ka NOTE Bahot ZYADA Lagta Hai Jab GARIB Ko Dena Ho, Magar HOTEL Mein TIP Dena Ho To Bahot KAM Lagta Hai.

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3_Minute Ke Liye BHAGWAN Ko YAAD Karna Kitna MUSHKIL Hai,
Magar 3_Hours Ka FILM Dekhna AASHAAN.

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Pure Din MEHNAT Ke Baad GYM Jaane Se Nehi THAKTE, Magar Jab MAA-BAAP Ke PAIR DABANA Ho To HUM THAK Jaate Hain.
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VALENTINE's DAY Ke Liye HUM Pure SAAL Intezar Karte Hai, Magar MOTHER's DAY Kab Hai hume Pata Hi Nahi.

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Is MSG Ko FORWARD Karna Bahut MUSHKIL Hoga,Jabki FIZOOL Ke JOKE's Ko FORWARD Karna HUMARA FARZ Ban jata Hai.

AJEEB HAI NA?

Joke


Police ne car Roki Or kaha:

Ye Safety week Hai
.
Aap Belt Pehen k car Chala Rahe ho Isliye
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Apko Rs 1000 ka Inaam Dya jata Hy.
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Ap is inaam ka kya Kroge.?
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Driver: Main apna driving License Banwaunga.
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Pichli Seat Par Bethi uski maa boli:
Iski baat ka Yakin Nahi Karo Ye sharab Pi Kar kuch b bolta Hai.
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Uske abba neend se jage or Police dekh k bole:
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Mujhe Pata Tha chori ki car Me Hum Zyada door Nahi ja Payenge.
Tabhi diggi se awaz Ai
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Bhai: Hmne border Paar Kar liya Hai kya.?. :))

Best Frnds


Ik duje nu Class vich jo ishare karde si.
Juttiya pain ton jama na darde si.
Period koi hor hunda te Book koi hor e padhde si.
Pichhe beh k saun jande ya gallan karde si.
 Aj kalle kalle ho k Yaar hauke bharde ne.
 Koi thoda koi jyada, miss ta sare e karde ne..

Joke


Bhakt-Swami ji, aisi Patni ko kya kahenge jo
Gori ho,
Lambi ho,
Beutiful ho,
Inteligent ho,
Pati ko smjhe,
Or kbhi jhagda n kre
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Swami:"Man ka Vahem...

New Year Special

Jab
Anna
Lok bill
mang
sakta
he
Pappu
pass
ho
sakta
he
Munni
badnam
ho
sakti
he
Shila
jawan
ho
sakti
he
Pyaaz
80rs
kilo
ho
sakti
he
Saniya
pakistanme
shadi
kar
sakti
he
Character
dheela
ho
sakta
he
7 khoon
maaf
ho
sakta
hai
Aurat
jalebi
bai
ho
sakti
he
12
mahine
me
12
tarike
se
pyar
ho
sakta
he
To
fir
HUM
6 din
pehle
HAPPY New Year wish
nahi
kar saktE
kya..?!!!
Wish U Happy New Year

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Joke

T.T to Santa - Ticket Please.....
Santa - Yeah lo 
T.T - yeah to purani hai.......
Santa - Salya tuhadi Train khera showroom wicho nikl ke aayi aa....

Funny Joke

Boy - Agar me tumhe kiss karu aur bhag jao
to tum kya sochogi,
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Girl - Main sochungi Ek pagal tha jo pura paper
kar sakta tha, par sirf roll no. Likh kar bhag gaya....

Life quotes

Teri kismat da likha tere to koi kho nahi,
Sakda..
Je uss di meher hove te tainu o v mil jaye jo
tera ho
nahi sakda..- GURU GRANTH SAHIB

True frnds

Rue friends are like Diamonds.....
They are real n rare, false  friends r like
leaves... They scattered everwhere

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Love shayari

Aina pyar a dil ch,
ohna layi, fir v ohna d
nazar begaani kyun a,
ohna ne kade pyar naal,
takeya v ni, par saadi roohn
ohna d diwani a, bahut samjaya
dil nu k bahut dur ne o, par dil
karda aini manmaani kyun a.
Pata a kisse ne chupp nahi karuna,
Fir v ehna akhan ch eina paani kyun,

Shayari


Koi kisi ka intzar karta hai,
Koi kisi ki bekrar, karta hai,
Hum ohne smjhaterahe par wo,
Nadani karke hamain Satate rahe......

Joke

Sartaj Modified
Asi gye gurudware te kol Car c,
Othe ja ke dekhya langar tyar c,


Koi - Koi sunda babbe di gall nu,
Koi - Koi dekhda jalebiyan wal nu,


Sartaj ne chuk jalebi luko layi,
Bebbeyan ne Kutt - Kutt othe
hi kho layi,


Jalebi chakn te kam Khrab ho gaya,
Fer Sartaj chup chap ho gaya.........

Friday, 23 December 2011

Love Shayari

Dil Nu lag jaan rog ta ki Kariye,
Kise di yaad ch akhiyan ron ta ki kariye,
Tamanna ta bahut hai milan di,
Je kar yaad hi bhul jaan ta ki kariye..........

Joke

Nepali - Hamare pahado main "I Love U"
bolo to vapis awaz ati hai "Love U"

Punjabi - Es vich kedi vadi gal hai,
sade pind vich awaz maro " Teri Bhen di" te
Vapis aandi hai " Teri maa di"............

Joke

Husband - Ye kaisa khana banaya hai
tumne ,bikul gobar jaisa...

Wife - Hey bhagwan is aadmi ne to har cheez
chakh rakhi hai........

Joke


Pandit - apke hawan main kaali mata ko
Khush karne ke liyem, Ek daru ki botal
Ek bakra Aur 5000 Rupee lagenge.....

Santa - Salea mai hawan Karwana hai
Kaali mata nu party nahi deni............

Shayari

Sangit sunkar gyan nahi miilta


Mandir jakar Bhagwan Nahi milta


Pathar to Log is liye pujte hai..


Q ki Vishwas k Layak insan Nahi milta............

Shayari

Duaaon ki bheed main
ek dua maangi hamne
har khushi tumari,
Jab bhi muskuraye aap
dil se,
Samazo dua Kubul hui hamari....

Shayari

Gum ki andiyo se
Hum Gujar jayenge
Sagar ki Lehro main
Hum Utar jayenge
Hume Maut ke Liye
Fansi ki jarurat Nahi
Aap dil se Nikal Dena
hum yu hi mar jayenge

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Punjab police vs santa

Punjab police ka jalwa
Santa Talab main naha raha tha
Police chal oye bahar aa ke kapde pahen
teri talashi leni hai....

Santa


Santa g ka ghora race main sbse peechay tha..
Kisi ne poocha
Santa apka ghora Konsa hai?
Santa - O dekh jinnay sareyan nu agay laya hoya ae...

Doctor Vs patient


Patient- Ye phulon ka haar kis liye?
Doctor - yeah mera 1st operation hai..
opeartion thik hua to mere liye nahi hua to tumare liye....

Love Shayri


Phool ki shuruvat kali se hoti hai
zindagi ki shuruvat pyar se hoti hai
pyar ki shuruvat apno se hoti hai
aur apno ki shuruvat aapse hoti hai....
2 lovers were eating chips, looking in two
each other eyes.
Girl - what r u thinking now?
Boy - tu har wari mere ton jyada chips kha rhi ae bhukhiye
ghare roti ni mildi......:)

Dosti aur Pyar


Dost aur Pyar do dost the wo nadi par
ghomne gay pyar nadi main gir gaya
kyunki pyar andha hota hai. uske peeche
dosti bhi gir gayi. kyunki wo kisi ka saath
nahi chodati hai.....

Dosti aur Pyar

Dost aur pyar do dost the wo nadi par
ghomne gay pyar nadi main gir gaya
kyunki pyar andha hota hai. uske peeche
dosti bhi gir gayi. kyunki wo kisi ka saath
nahi chodati hai.....